Variation 3: Hope

I had a pretty hard year a while ago and I remember listening to the song, This Year, on repeat. I love the beat: relaxed but unrelenting – always moving forward as it pushes towards the assertion “I am going to make it through this year if it kills me.” And when things got really tough for me, I would sing the part of the song at the end that says:

“There will be feasting and dancing
In Jerusalem next year, I am going to make through this year if it kills me.”

“L’Shana Haba’ah B’Yerushalayim; Next year in Jerusalem“, is a phrase that is often sung at the end of the Passover Seder and at the end of the Ne’ila service on Yom Kippur. Its use during Passover was first recorded by Isaac Tyrnau in his 15th century CE book cataloging the Minhaggim of various Ashkenazi communities.

L’Shana Haba’ah evokes a common theme in Jewish culture of a desire to return to a rebuilt Jerusalem, and commentators have suggested that it serves as a reminder of the experience of living in exile.” (Wiki, 2020)

I loved the hope of good things to come in those lines and I still believe that there will always be things to look forward to. The feasting and dancing will come either because things will get better or we will get stronger.

Small steps,
CJ

This Year
by The Mountain Goats

I broke free on a Saturday morning
I put the pedal to the floor
Headed north on Mills Avenue
And listened to the engine roar
My broken house behind me
And good things ahead
A girl named Cathy
Wants a little of my time
Six cilinders underneath the hood
Crashing and kicking
Aha!
Listen to the engine wine

I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it though this year
If it kills me

I played video games in a drunken haze
I was seventeen years yound
Hurt my knuckles punching the machines
The taste of scotch rich on my tongue
And then Cathy showed up
And we hung out
Trading swigs from a bottle
All bitter and clean
Locking eyes
Holding hands
Twin high maintenance machines

I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it though this year
If it kills me

I drove home in the California dusk
I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum
Pictured the look on my stepfather’s face
Ready for the bad things to come
I downshifted
As I pulled into the driveway
The motor screaming out
Stuck in second gear
The scene ends badly
As you might imagine
In a cavalcade of anger and fear

There will be feasting and dancing
In Jerusalem next year
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it though this year
If it kills me

Wiki. (2020). Retrieved from https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/L%27Shana_Haba%27ah